Heartache

"With every twinge of pain, every bit of uneasiness, every challenge and defeat...we grow." 

As I review the timeline of my 30 years, I'm in amazement at the number of significant, life altering moments that have accumulated in the 18 months passed. These pivotal moments, all of which carry with them a commonality of heartache and pain. 

For well over a year, I've been consistently in and out of peace, love, acceptance, stability, comfort, confidence, assurance and clarity. Through a major move, a disappointing divorce, a loss of identity, a whirlwind romance, a shifting of careers and a hopeless love affair, I've felt broken into pieces - totally helpless, unbearably lonely and ultimately confused and uncertain at times. 

But, despite the heartache and pain; despite each pivotal moment that led to temporary darkness, I did not surrender. I did not relinquish control. I did not succumb to mediocrity. I lived through it, completely conscious to the ups and downs. I felt every twinge of pain, every bit of uneasiness, every challenge and defeat. And with that, I grew. 

The heartache that at times felt heavy and stifling became the door to amazing things in my life. It has fueled huge career goals, created special bonds, grounded me in confidence, ignited an intense love within and provided life saving guidance (to name a few). I value every minute of my past for each has added to the creation and redefining of my 30 year-old self. 

It's no wonder I feel most alive in this phase of my life. I've just endured a huge growth spurt!